The Dehydrator – not a really crappy superhero…yet
A while back, I was gifted a dehydrator. It’s the kind of thing I always wanted to play with but was never going to buy.
I finally got around to running a few tests with it.
What do I always have too much of? Kale. What did I recently acquire too much of? Pumpkin seeds.
The dehydrator is sort of big for a one trick pony, but it’s about as uncomplicated as a machine gets. Plug in, set temp. Wait. Wait some more. And a bit more. Ah, hell, wake me up before you go-go.
The kale is pretty basic. Wash, dry, 2-3 teaspoons of oil per big bunch, I added salt and paprika, placed on the racks in single layers. 100 degrees Fahrenheit for 8 hours as a general starting point.
For the pumpkins seeds, I riffed off this recipe. Don’t forget to soak those seeds first. My version for 3 1/4 cups of seeds used 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract, 3/8 teaspoon sea salt, 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 4 or 5 tablespoons of plum cherry jam and 1/4 teaspoon chipotle chili powder. Use whatever ya got, that’s what I did.
ProTip: Do not crack a molar days after you’ve made pumpkin seeds because the dentist will tell you not to eat them while you still have the temporary crown. I’m thinking maybe I should have gone with a platinum blingy mouth grill.
Enough about dentistry. Let’s do this.
Ayup, that’s kale alright.
Dry that stuff, coat it, but don’t drown it.
Glistening moist and ready…for the dehydrator. Sheesh, pervs.
Stacks and stacks on stacks.
There is going to be some shrinkage. Make sure you start with big enough pieces.
Jack, we hardly knew ye. Thanks for the cranial donation.
Mixing a gooey mess. The best part of anything.
Spread ’em. Thin layers.
Now take your bowl of sweet and spicy and go watch a movie or something.
This Being the 4th of Nothing 
I need to make some broccoli chips soon…
Yes, you do. Better get choppin’ broccoli.