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Water Woes and Frozen Toes and a Little Crazy Driving

January 15, 2014

The fire speaks to me.  The water…it just thumbs its nose in my general direction.

As They say, life happens.

Water is life.

Therefor, water happens!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

In November, my water heater threw up its contents on the basement floor and died.  Subsequently, I had a pipe leak under the upstairs bathroom sink, causing some minor ceiling damage.  The day after Christmas found me getting my car stuck in the snow out in the suburban wasteland and required the use of my brother-in-law and his massive truck, a winch, a snowplow and some deft snowdrifting (Think NASCAR on ice!  Fun for everyone?)  That same day, the toilet flooded in that bathroom.  Fortunately, my dress shoes were already wet from the car incident!  This required mopping on every floor and resulted in a very nice hole in the ceiling.  Wet plaster isn’t as soft as you would think when it lands on your head.

I did what any sane person would do given the circumstances.  I left the mess where it was and took a flight south.

The water gods were not fooled.

At the house I was staying, the water expansion tank sprung a leak on New Year’s Eve.  Bust out the towels!

To bring it all to a close, I got my car stuck in more snow when I got home from the airport.  This time while attempting to turn into my own driveway.

Luckily I managed to foil the Blue Men of the Minch before they managed to wreck my ship.  You can be assured my cunning tongue was up to the task.  I was able to find enough words that rhymed with “motherfucker” to foil the Glaukidai.  I finally slid my poor car into the garage before it snowed again and Chicago fell victim to the Polar Vortex.

Assuming that Neptune needed to be appeased, I sacrificed a bull.  I made some bison stew.  That surely counts?

It was tasty.  That’s more important anyway.

Got some good lookin’ bison meat seasoned with salt, chili powder and cumin and browned.  In the pot went onion, garlic, carrots, tomato, red and yellow taters, zucchini, red wine, broth and a couple bay leaves.  Gotta use up those random veggies hiding in the back of the crisper.  Stew is easy and it tastes great.

SIDE NOTE:  I did manage to get those cookies done Christmas Eve. Post to follow.  On the downside, I ended up having to wrap stuff on Christmas morning while suffering a mild beverage-related flu.

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