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Naming Names

May 6, 2011
Jacob and Bella Mountian Kiss

Just came across the list of top baby names in 2010.

Topping the list for boys and girls, respectively, was Jacob and Isabella.

You people make me sick.

To be fair, I think these names have long been favorites, but you know what I’m talking about.

I don’t like any of the names in the boys’ top 10 and mine is included.

The girls’ top 10 seems infinitely better by comparison, but did we really need a crap ton more Madisons?  If you’re going to call her Maddie anyway, why not Madeline, which didn’t originally become popular due to a crappy 1980s movie.  Madison also apparently means “son of Matthew” or “son of Maud” because it’s a freaking surname.

I just realized that my buddy’s girl is named Isabella (Bella, for short) and I’m trying to imagine it is just coincidence, but it probably isn’t.

The name of your child isn’t what makes him or her unique.  Stop trying to be cutesy or just plain stupid.

My sister named her kid Emily, but felt that it just couldn’t be spelled that way.  Why the hell not?  Because you want your child to have to correct people her whole damn life?  Name your dog something goofy if you really have to feel special about your naming abilities.

Particularly with boys, because we just end up calling each other anything but what our mammas named us.

I still answer to Sue.  Screw you, Fitz.

Here’s some more Cash.  As the great Edward Regan Murphy said in Delirious (and which 2 Live Crew made anthemic), “And if you don’t like it, you get the fuck out!”

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