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If it works?

December 3, 2010

I’m not sure what to make of these Orangina adverts (look for it way down the end of the page).  The company has a history of weirdness in advertising (anthropomorphized animals in swimwear anyone?)

These are indeed weird and weird is funny right?  Animals are cute.  Anthro’d animals are like, the shit, right?  Each segment is nice and short.  Can’t beat that.

There’s some part of me that knows at least one maroon on this Earth will be confused and actually wonder if Orangina should be added to his laundry or used to mop the floor.  That thought makes me chuckle.  It also makes me sad.  Where that train of thought led me was even worse.  It was like a tiny Spaceship Earth in my head; full of animatronic bureaucrats and lawyers screaming about the decline of civilization and the inability of the modern human to use their brain or just, ya know, not be douches.  For example, the gay cat commercial was banned earlier this year in France for being too “polemic” (starts at 1:20 on the video below).  Somehow I missed the brouhaha surrounding that.

I’m sure this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been bombarded with these adverts for almost two straight minutes.  A twenty to thirty second spot probably would have resulted in a quizzically raised eyebrow.  After which, I would have promptly forgotten all about Orangina.

But I didn’t.

Still, I’m not sure I want any Orangina.  Of course, I didn’t want any before.  I haven’t had one in 15 years.  I couldn’t really describe what it even tastes like.  I feel like I remember, but it’s just a fleeting memory.

I did manage to find out that “Orangina is pronounced “O-ron’-zhjeh-nuh”, not “Orang-EYE-nuh” or “Orang-EE-nuh” (source, though this info is allegedly also on the official Orangina website – bugger if I could find it).  Apparently some Spanish dood made a sparkling drink of OJ and pulp (calling it Naranjina) and then some other dood bought the concept and sold it in bottles to Algerians back in 1935.

I can describe what it sounds like.  Odd.  I keep seeing it typed out in this post…O R A N G I NA.  It looks weird.  It sounds weird – whether you pronounce it right or are combining oranges and vaginas.  Talk about a tangy, sparkling drink.

On the other hand, it’s carbonated and made from citrus juices (according to orangina.com, “All Orangina refreshments contain no less than 12% citrus fruit juice* – 10% orange and 2% accent of lemon, grapefruit and mandarin. The elaborated and well-balanced taste is enhanced with 2% pulp and zest”).  NO LESS THAN 12% JUICE!

Sounds entirely reasonable.  I dig the mandarin flavor Jarritos.  It’s a mid-summer holiday weekend party in your mouth.

How could this Orangina stuff be terrible?  It has a sexy looking bottle.  All ass and curve, with a slender neck and nice orange glow.

Maybe, I should go get one….

Maybe I should get some Orangina Red.  Too bloody?  That sounds like a challenge.

WARNING:  NAKED MALE ASS!


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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 1:31 AM

    Maybe you should. Maybe.

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